What If? Film Review

What If? (also known as The F Word) is a romantic comedy directed by Michael Dowse and stars Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan, as two young adults Wallace and Chantry (what a name by the way) who bump into each other at a house party and they form an instant connection, striking a close relationship. Wallace is a very sad, seemingly lonely character who has been deeply hurt by his past relationships and his life seems to have no direction. Chantry on the other side of the coin has a very settle life. She has a job as an animator that she loves and lives with her long term boyfriend Ben (Rafe Spall). The film explores the idea that if it is possible that your best friend is actually the person you really love and how that affects your relationships with other people.

Now I'll admit that I'm not the number one fan of rom-coms. I'm just more of a mans man wanting to immerse myself into big action scenes and heroic battle speeches, not investing into mushy, sappy horrible dialogue that makes me want to spew my guts out onto the cinema floor. Thankfully this is not the case for What If? It's actually not too bad. Daniel Radcliffe has tried to distance himself away as far as possible from anything remotely like Harry Potter. He's picked different, more versatile roles and I like that. It shows how much of an acting talent he really is. The way he plays the character of Wallace is very natural, down to earth and very likable. You feel sympathetic for his character throughout the film and you understand why he makes certain decisions because of the constant battle with his feelings for Chantry. A very controlled performance. The same can be said for Zoe Kazan. She and Radcliffe have solid chemistry and the witty dialogue completes a very engaging on screen couple. Cute may not be the greatest adjective in the world but I can't think of another word that reflects their relationship. The film did make me laugh with a few random morbid jokes (because I'm such a child) so the film tries its best keeps you entertained whilst trying to throw in the romantic loveliness at the same time.

The film does however fall under the same rom-com cliches that you've seen multiple times before and that at times takes the comedy out of the film. It's a very paint by numbers story which is uninspiring and a little boring. It's very predictable, even if you're not a rom com fan. A number of scenes felt very stretched especially in the second act of the film, which dragged for far too long and didn't offer anything new to the story nor develop the characters further. The film ideally should have been 20mins shorter and for what the film offered in terms of the story would have been the right run time. As result you're waiting an age for the conclusion, which again is cute but very blubbery. If you're a female or romantic male you'll love the ending but sadly I didn't.

What If? is a perfectly fine film with great chemistry between the lead characters and a solid script but it follows a formulaic, uninteresting story which we've seen done before numerous times. It's a good film for couples, I'd recommend it for you because it'll be a fun night out at the cinema and you'll appreciate it more than I did.

6/10

Pudsey: The Movie - Rant and Rave Review

Sometimes in life you feel like you've made serious mistakes and made poor decisions. Decisions which fill you with overloading amounts of pain and anger that you cannot forget about. It really shatters your soul into a millions pieces. Your friends and family constant interrogation which wants you to just curl up in a ball and shut yourself away from humanity. Sadly this happened to me last month when I decided to spend 8 quid of my money, which I earned with my blood, sweat and tears, at the cinema to watch Simon Cowell's production's masterpiece, Pudsey: The Movie. From looking at the trailers it scared me. It shook me to my core. It looked like something that CBBC was about to commission the 1990's and then bosses thought, "Do you know what? I think we should re-run 3 episodes of Chucklevision instead." Whoever had to do the marketing for this film must have felt like an absolute tool. What redeeming features could they possibly find to promote this film to the masses. Well by the looks of the trailer, they couldn't be bothered anyway. What they did was summarise the entire film in 2 minutes, so there was no need for anybody to bother going to the pictures and give Simon Cowell any of their hard earn money. What was also highlighted in the trailer was that the film was from the director of Horrid Henry: The Movie. Wow what a quality and successful film that was. Cost £10 million and made £10 million. Cowell definitely picked the best director for the job. Mr Nick Moore. Who by the way couldn't create a good film even if he had Christopher Nolan in one ear and Steven Spielberg in the other. Awful choice.

The plot is simply a family who adopt Pudsey. They move to the countryside into a grotty old house which is owned by an evil businessman who plans to demolish the house and build a shopping centre on the land. Pudsey has to save the day. Fantastic, I bet that story was months in the making. Hours of careful planning went into that storyboard. The villain's motives are copied directly from Mrs Browns Boy's D'Movie. Not only did they copy somebody else's idea, they copied it from an appalling cinematic atrocity! The film is shot so poorly that I think the director only took one shot of every scene and said "That'll do." It screams out laziness from the very beginning of the film and it continues throughout. The story is so horrifically boring, that even the actors looked like they were day dreaming on set. Being the back end of the donkey in the Christmas play might have been a better role to go for. I feel deeply sorry for Pudsey, who sadly had to endure the agonising pain of being the star of this film, because he's such an intelligent dog. I love what dance moves he can do, it's timeless entertainment. The film to put it bluntly, insults him. Not only does David Walliams make him sound like an utter inbasul but he does some really idiotic things along the way, which are not funny or clever and make his character like the typical average stupid dog e.g. obsessed with sausages and having to reference that every ten minutes. That's horrible. Poor Pudsey. Not only does the film insult Pudsey, but it insults it's main audience too. Children. The writing is ridiculously cheesy and makes you question what age the person is. I wrote a better script in primary school with my mates, doing a role play on the playground killing orcs with my crooked stick. The kids in the theatre were bored out of their minds, even this lad in front of me got up and told his mum, "I'm waiting outside, I hate it." He had the guts to walk out, which I didn't have. Good lad! Stupid cheesy scripts just don't work with kids anymore. Quality family films such as How to Train Your Dragon 2 is something which I'd take my child to see. It teaches them more about life and certain morals which can help them to do the right things. This film at least teaches them that pigs can't actually lay eggs, they drop big poo's out instead. That genuinely happens. A pig who believes it's a chicken. Nobody laughed by the way, not even the smaller kids. Embarrassing. Just summed up the movie for me.

This film is a middle finger to anybody who has the IQ higher than a turnip and treats a brilliant dog like a moron too. I'm glad this film lost a million quid. Good on the general public for not coming to watch this piece of diarrhea. You might be thinking "But Dan it's only a kids film." It is but then so is Frozen, how good of kids film is that? The Lego Movie is a kids film and that's terrific. These are the films that you should spend your hard earned money on. Don't put it in Simon Cowells deep pockets. Hopefully the flop of this venture will make sure his entertainment company stays well clear of any film material. Because nobody gives a dog turd. 

1/10. That 1 goes to Pudsey himself.

Rant over! :D 

Lucy - Film Review

Lucy, is the new action thriller from director Luc Besson and stars Scarlett Johansson as a woman studying in Taipei, who incidentally gets captured and forced to test a new drug which enhances more of the brains capacity, as humans currently only use 10%. As Lucy unlocks more of her brain's capacity she in turn becomes more powerful and can be a Jedi it seems and use force like powers to move objects and change her surroundings. Morgan Freeman plays a scientist who is researching the brain and it's usage and how it can be expanded and potentially become more powerful and his and Lucy character come together to stop the drug from getting into the wrong hands.

Besson has previously produced a number of action films such as the Transporter series, Hitman, Colombiana and the Taken franchise. He also directed The Fifth Element, a classic sci-fi starting Bruce Willis. The man has plenty of experience with creating an action film. And from the way the film looks, this is definitely the case. The film looks very sleek and crisp has been shot with care and attention. The editing is flawless so there is a very consistent tone throughout. The film is very fast paced, similar to Taken, so you're kept on your toes with plenty of action sequences to satisfy the adreneline. Scarlett Johansson's performance is excellent. She is charming whilst being an absolute badass for 90mins. You buy that she is a killing machine, firing guns left, right and centre at all the bad guys. Pretty heavenly. She has been on a big roll the last couple of years with films such as Under the Skin, Don Jon and Captain America : The Winter Solider. She is proving to be a top actress. I don't fancy her at all by the way....

Lucy whilst being entertaining, does have many glaring problems which can't be glossed over with a hot girl with guns. Firstly there is no clear plot. I really tried hard to figure out why certain scenes were happening to advance the story but it's so confusing and nonsensical, that it really forces you out of the film to the point of not caring. On the subject of not caring, the main character Lucy. She's too overpowered too quickly so within the first 30mins, she really could have instantly killed all the bad guys (they don't have any development as characters, they are just bad guys) and that would have been game set and match. After her brain goes over 20% you really don't care about Lucy because not once after she's has the drug is she ever in any real danger. Even the biggest action characters in cinema e.g. John McClane, Indiana Jones are always at some point up against the odds and that's why you get behind them characters, you want them to fight back.

Another big problem is the science involved. If anybody who has an interest in science and goes to watch the film, they will harp on that the 10% brain capacity idea is a complete myth and it's utter nonsense. I don't think I would have had a problem with that aspect of the film but for some reason, somebody decided to include these wildlife clips from a David Attenborough documentary, which came across as trying to be too clever and completely took me out of the film. It didn't look stylish at all, it completely missed the mark. A poor decision. Morgan Freeman plays Morgan Freeman. It could have been any actor but he did what he had to do. It's the same role as he had in Transcendence earlier this year. The film is also too much like the film Limitless with Bradley Cooper which was released in 2011. It's a very similar plot idea which Limitless executes better as an all round film.

Lucy is such a polarising film. It has some brilliant aspects such as Scarlett Johansson's acting and the well crafted action scenes but there are so many problems, that it really affects the film on a huge scale. The issues just anchor the film from what could have been a fun and exciting summer action thriller. But annoyingly this isn't the case.

5/10

Remembering Robin Williams

2002. Back then I was very short 8 year old, who worshiped football and pretended to be a massive WWE wrestler with crazy badass moves from the top rope aka the arm of the sofa. Now I still love football but I've realised grappling with half naked men in tight pants isn't my future. It was also the year I watched Mrs Doubtfire for the first time. The lead actor was a man who had me giggling constantly for 2 hours, running about in drag, creating all kinds of wacky antics that I couldn't get enough of. I watched the film about a month ago. In my head I was thinking...... a man has lost access to his kids so he becomes a tranny nanny in order to see them...... yeah how on earth could that absurd plot become a comedy classic. Only one man could have made that film work, Robin Williams.

Robin Williams was such an icon. Many top name comedians look up to him as a huge inspiration for their work. I wouldn't blame them. The man had so much talent. He was so quick and witty that the jokes just naturally flowed effortlessly. His random sporadic improvising style worked in a way that didn't make come across as arrogant and he could make crowd after crowd roar with laughter, selling out gigs all over the planet. Not only was he a naturally gifted comedian, he was an amazing actor who had unlimited charisma on screen. He was credited in over 100 films, some of which are excellent and some are utter tripe. But no matter how poor the film was, you'd rarely see somebody criticise his performance, because of his likability. I have so many great memories of Robin Williams films. Mrs Doubtfire was one of them. Here are a few more.......

I remember having Hook on video back in the day. Me and my sister used to watch it most weekends. It stars Robin as Peter Banning/Peter Pan, a very successful lawyer who becomes out of touch with his family, creating many broken promises. He forgets everything about his childhood. Neverland, The Lost Boys and his old foe Captain Hook, played by Dustin Hoffman. When his 2 children are captured by Hook, Peter must learn to reclaim his youthful spirit that he lost in order to challenge his old enemy and become a father again. It's such a fun 90's film that had so many quotable lines and you could only smile at Robin's warm and comforting presences on screen. Watching a man who had such a very bland, stilted lifestyle find who he really was inside was really uplifting and I still think the film is very underrated.

Jumanji is another childhood film which I still remember fondly. A board game coming to life and creating utter havoc was great entertainment and the film was scary at times. Robin Williams wrestling a crocodille and getting sunk into the attic floor whilst being attacked by massive spiders. Argghhhhh hide! That was the stuff of nightmares. I used to think the CGI was amazing, which now does look a little dated but it still felt real to me! It's still a great family film.

A film that I saw recently wasn't the typical Robin Williams film that I was use to growing up with. It's the film that he won an Oscar for his perfect portrayal as psychologist Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting. He was so perfect in that role even real life therapists learnt from his penetrative deliverance. I don't think I've ever heard that been mentioned about an actor before, incredible acting. It was the first time I saw him in a dramatic role and it showed how much of an all round talent he was. Not many actors can be a brilliant entertainer and switch into a very serious but controlled character. The film is brilliantly acted and written by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. A very powerful and uplifting movie.

The final film on my list is mine and many other people's favourite Robin Williams performance. And he wasn't physically on screen but it felt like he was there with you, being that warm character and friend that you need in your life. The Genie in Aladdin. His improvising skills are the best I've ever heard and they shone through in this Disney classic. The jokes, the impressions and references to pop culture were for the most part completely off script. He created an entirely new script by rolling it off his tongue. Disney recorded a days worth of recordings from Williams and they somehow had to pick his best lines for a 90 minute feature. Where would you even start?! He made that film his own, he was the star. If you look at posters for Aladdin, the Genie tends to be the main character that draws your attention and not Aladdin himself. Completely unheard of for a Disney film. The secondary character was the selling point. It also meant that more well known actors began to get involved in animation projects. A pioneer.

The term there will never be a person like this gets thrown around far too much, but Robin Williams was a unique character. He was a absolute genius that all generations beloved. A great man who sadly brought so much happiness to everyone in the world but not himself. Rest in peace Robin. I'll miss you dearly.