The Other Side of the Door - Film Review

When was the last time a horror film was set in India? Seems a long time ago! The country is underused as a haunting backdrop, a country filled mysterious locations for filmmakers to explore. For instance abandoned ancient temples, claustrophobic jungles, the different mythological creatures told in Indian folk law. It is an untapped resource, a fantastic place to gather ideas for a psychological thrill ride. Offering a contrasting option to the usual heaven and hell, the devil's gonna get yer story seen a million times before in horror films, The Other Side of the Door tries to venture off the beaten track from the tired cliche setting in an attempt to show audiences that there is more to the genre than a creepy old house with rotten basement. A young married couple from America decide to settle in Mumbai with plans to start a family together. A terrible accident tragically ends with the death of their young son Oliver, as a consequence the mother struggles mentally to cope with his passing. The housekeeper tells the mother of an old temple located near her childhood village that allows the living to speak with the dead for one last time. One golden rule however is that she must not open the door (please bear this in mind).

I was invested in the story for the first fifteen minutes as the film offers a heartfelt opening in the hope of leading to a psychological story, rooting for the main characters to battle with the grief surrounding the family. Then the film collapses like a drunk mate attempting to play Jenga. One word can summariae this film, wasted. Whilst the backdrop and imagery is unique, the story, the scares and the dopey characters follow the same cliche twenty first century horror film plot that you've seen so many times previously. The characters in this film are yet again written to be morons. This isn't a spoiler but as the housemaid describes instructions to the mother, the one rule is that she must not open the door whilst in the temple. Have a guess at what she does........ garrrrrrr! As per the norm, the creepy things start to occur. Everybody in the house senses the supernatural presences, even the dog. The dad however as in every single modern horror film is clueless to it all. He has no idea that an evil spirit is haunting his family, why is this the case? There isn't an explanation other than it is terrible writing. There is no reason for him to be in this film other than to make love to his partner. He is a sex slave. Horror's get bashed for poor writing but this has got to be up there with the worst. I don't mind for example if it was another Final Destination sequel because it is written and directed to be more of a comedy. The Other Side of the Door takes itself so serious that you can't help but laugh at some of the scares. Imagine if your sibling tiptoed to the kitchen munching quietly on a midnight snack, you spot them, sneak up perfectly behind them, sibling turns around... 3,2,1.... BARGH! I got ya! The level of scares you'll receive in this film ladies and gentleman. Predictable and rubbish. The endless actions the mother takes to protect her family from the evil spirits are over the top to say the least. If this was your mother, you'd be signing her up for placement in the maximum security mental asylum. Again the film is taking itself so seriously, I couldn't help but laugh! Why can't horror films be written to a acceptable standard anymore? We aren't all muppets. The film even manages to break its own rules on how to get rid of the evil demon. The ending makes no sense without having to think deeply. It really is hard to describe but I won't spoiler in case you do want to see this film. This is taking writing to a whole new level of crap. Do you remember the days growing up watching classic horror films such as The Excosist, The Omen, Poltergeist, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street? Why can't Hollywood create more masterpieces like them?

Ok so I've had my rant. I think it was my frustration of most horror films of today just boiling over. The film's direction isn't bad, the acting for the most part is solid in particular to the housekeeper. The production and set designs are very well crafted. It's such a shame that an interesting and promising idea turned out to be a typical horror cash grab. Booooo!


3/10


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Film Nerd Squads #1 - Wizards

Teams, factions, squads, groups, shared universes etc. are now becoming huge money spinners for film studios. Marvel took the first giant leap with the release of The Avengers, expanding their own cinematic universe, taking the once bankrupt comic book company to a thriving multi billion pound pioneering studio. Warner Bros and DC Comics have taken their first steps into creating a universe for their well known beloved characters with the release of Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice nearly 2 weeks away, setting up a The Justice League film due for release towards the end of 2017. So I had an idea. Why not create my own fantasy squads of film characters for a bit of a laugh. No serious film critic rabble, this is purely for fun. Lets see I can form a team that could potentially work well together using their strengths, covering any weaknesses hindering other members, picking a wide variety of well known iconic characters as well as more obscure ones, creating one awesome group of crime fighting world saviours. There will be a a couple rules to make things harder as follows:

• A team consists of 6 characters with one leader

• Using one character from each film/franchise/shared universe that they appear in e.g. I'm not allowed to pick Hulk, Iron Man or Captain America in the same team.

• Using one portrayal of a character e.g. I can't pick Christian Bale's Batman and Michael Keaton's Batman in the same squad

Choosing a squad of wizards was rather difficult when the time came to drafting up a team. I could have easily picked 3-4 characters from the Harry Potter franchise but as per the rules I could only choose one from the series. Options were limited! Below is my squad of wizards, attempting to blend youth with experience, their different skills and weird and wonderful personalities.

Here are my picks:

Gandalf (LOTR and Hobbit franchise) - Leader

An obvious first pick for the squad, Gandalf is one of the most natural leaders in novel and film history. A protector of the free folk of Middle-Earth, Gandalf shows endless acts of courage and shares his wisdom with Frodo Baggins' fellowship, aiding with the destruction of the one ring. He even goes as far as to sacrifice himself by killing the Balrog, a evil demon of the ancient world so that his friends could flee to safety. Gandalf is like having a Grandad guiding you through the good times and the bad. He appears to be a complete nutcase, setting off fireworks for the kids and smoking weed with his mate Biblo in The Shire but in reality he's a true warrior of men. In the films, he does not use many magical powers but for the leadership skills and having a dictionary brain full of knowledge, Gandalf is the undisputed number one for the leader role.    

Tim the Enchanter - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

The squad's comic relief and resident pyromanic, Tim the Enchanter's skills are unique. A wizard who appears clumsy yet has a useful ability to conjure fireballs from out of the blue could be handy in a difficult situation. There's always room in my squad for a John Cleese voiced Scottish wizard wearing a rams head. And look at that beard and them wacky curly eyebrows, what bad guy wouldn't fear that in a dark alley at 3am in the morning. A definite pick.

Harry Potter

The most famous wizard in pop culture, Harry Potter was inevitably going to be in squad. And for good reason. I didn't want the squad to be all stereotypical wizards, old blokes with birdnest beards and hair greasy enough to fill a McDonalds fryer. Harry's rough childhood and his constant battle against the odds, defying all challenges thrown at him make for a true underdog. He moves on that broomstick like a flea and expertly puzzle solves Dumbledore's unnecessary riddles (why the old bugger insists giving him clues hence not explaining to Harry the actual truth I'll never know!). A quick learner, Harry tends to be good at everything the first time he tries activities, an uncanny comparison to that annoying kid at school always excelling while you're struggling to put on the best interested face. Harry, you're in the team.

Lo-Pan - Big Trouble in Little China

I'd love to choose a proper villain in the wizards squad and ideally I wanted to pick either Saruman or Voldermort. But I've found a great alternative. Lo-Pan still creeps the sh*t out of me. Just look at that face. Arnold Schwarzenegger wouldn't bother to take this guy on. Lo-Pan has peculiar motives in life. His life goal is to marry a woman with green eyes to regain his human form then sacrifice her to his emperor, as a result returning from beyond the grave and attempting to conquer the universe.... Creep. Just who I want in my squad, another weirdo. On a side note if you've not seen Big Trouble in Little China it's a superb 80's John Carpenter film, please watch it if you haven't :)

Merlin - Excalibur (1981)

There have been a number of different Merlin characters in films over the years. I've chosen a unique, younger portrayal who can kick some ass. In Excalibur, Merlin is more of a warrior of men than a bumbling wizard yet he can he still possesses the ability to charm dragons and mythical beasts. He is much more cunning than the Merlin in Disney's King Arthur adaptation The Sword in the Stone, proving to more than match the powers of Morgana (Dame Helen Mirren no less). Another little fact about Excalibur, "particular set of skills" man Liam Neeson is in this film too!

The High Aldwin - Willow

Not because he's particularly powerful nor useful, The High Aldwin face in this picture looks like me on a night out trying to concentrate on a conversation that goes straight in one ear and out the other. In all seriousness, the little wizard has the potential to see magic in ordinary people and gives encouragement to those with low confidence. How great is that! Definitely an attribute that could be useful to the squad.




So there you have it. Over to you, who would you pick in your save the world wizard squad? I've tried to mix a variety of different characters and I will try to do the same in following blog posts. Who would you pick instead. Would you choose Dumbledore over Harry Potter? Comment in the section below, comment on the Facebook page or tweet me :)


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London Has Fallen - Film Review

Sometimes in life you need to enjoy personal guilty pleasures. Things that your friends and family believe are ridiculous and time consuming for no reason other than to waste away the day but you hold dear to, like an old one eye teddy bear than you'll never throw in to the bottomless pit of junk. It is deeply special. It gives you a unique personality. I can't help but love cheesy over the top action films from the 80's and 90's. They are brilliant. If I catch one on the box, I'll choose it over a soap opera or a Simon Cowell produced eyesore on ITV. I would rather engross in Jean Claude Van Damme tearing up cliched Eastern European bad guys with his pinky than Jean from Somerset giving her over produced sob story and her 5 minutes of fame. I am that type of man. From an artistic standpoint of film making, I fully accept Jean Claude Van Damme film's are shitty. The nonsensical plot to Jean's body made of granite. Cringeworthy dialogue written by a nine year old and them horrendous mullets your dad thought were sexy. But I love it. The entertainment value is unbeatable. Them were the days when the actors sold the film, an incredibly rare breed to find now. Stallone and Arnie in the 80's, Tom Cruise in the 90's. Film stars. Olympus Has Fallen took audiences by surprise three years ago, rediscovering the soul of a classic cheesy action film. The film far surpassed expectations, grossing double its $70 million budget and became one of the blockbusters of that year. Audiences enjoyed the film's crisp visuals, solid performances from Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman and Aaron Eckhart plus the well directed action sequences. A simplistic fun summer action film. In the laws of Hollywood though, a money maker must become a sequel regardless of any moral circumstances. Hey presto! Here's a sequel!

London Has Fallen brings back the original cast with Gerard Butler as a special agent/particular set of skills badass, deploying terminator accuracy with a gun, Aaron Eckhart as the damsel in distress President of the United States who needs rescuing more times than Lois Lane and Morgan Freeman.....being Morgan Freeman. The president is schedule to attend a high profile funeral in London along with Butler as his bodyguard, unaware that middle eastern terrorists have infiltrated the capital and intend to kill all the leaders present to gain revenge on a previous personal incident to the terrorist's leader. So now IT'S PERSONAL! If you do decide to go and see this film over the weekend, please be advised that London Has Fallen is absurd and ridiculous. The plot is cliched to the point that the film becomes a comedy in the final act, the script is dumber than dumb. The scriptwriters wrote the bad guy into the script as "Elderly Muslim bad guy with deep menacing accent". The conversation on the creation of the villain took five minutes, I guarantee it. London Has Fallen CGI discovered from the middle ages, unearthed by archaeologists in the movie archive. Richard Donner's Superman had better explosions. If there was ever a time to hire Michael Bay as explosions technician, this was it. The big sweeping shots of the London Skyline looked like they were animated by a group of friends who had played drinking games all night, woke up and realised they had to get the effects rendered and finished by lunchtime with a stinking hangover. They are horrific. Blatant and cheap. That's me putting on my professional critic hat, I've bashed down this film enough. The truth is when I sat back and forgot about the awful production value, I had a flashy gameshow host grin walking out of the theatre. Why? Because this film is blissfully entertaining!

If you love action films, you'll forgive this film for being naff. London Has Fallen offers edge of the seat action sequences that are at times edited seamlessly. Butler and Eckhart have the common sense to understand the core of the film and enjoy the silliness and chaos ensuing in front of our eyes. Their chemistry works perfectly and it's refreshing to see actors not taking the material seriously when necessary. Vintage one liners paying homage to classic action films, bring a few chuckles along the way. The film has all the ingredients to be a guilty pleasure. If you think this film is a complete waste of time, I wouldn't disagree with you. It is rubbish. But as a fan of action films, I can't help but smile. And I'm still smiling now! 

5/10